Changes

Although I’ve gone back to music instead of pre-med, I do hope helping people and healthcare stays in my life. Other than watching medical shows, I plan on doing some type of medical stuff in college. The only problem with that is that this may not even be a possibility.

            I do think it’s strange that people who have such a passion for something, and can find a job that pays you do your passion, still don’t go down that path. I love music more than most things in life, and I always have. It’ll be weird not to be involved with it everyday.

            The way I see it, music isn’t a job to me. It’s a pleasure. I would love to go to work at a hospital, and come home and relax while listening to music. But I think music is the better choice for me.

Lost

I’ve been thinking about changing my major. From about sixth grade all the way through ninth grade, I wanted to be an Emergency Room nurse. Possibly a doctor, but who knew. I was planning on going to the University of Iowa for pre-med, and eventually working in a hospital in Cedar Rapids. But in the beginning of tenth grade, and I’ll never forget this, my dad said to me: “Lauren, I want you to get up every day excited to go to work. Don’t look for a job, look for your passion; and if your passion pays, then you’ve got it made.” And that was all I needed to hear. I was going to teach music. Music is my life, and if I could pass that on to other people and get paid to do it? Hell yes I was going to do that. I was pumped. “Okay Lauren, new plan.” I was now planning to go to Iowa State University, and double major in Music and Education. I was set. Until recently. A friend of mine asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and suddenly I didn’t know. Whatever it takes, music will never cease to be a part of my life. But did I want to be a music teacher? It’s so hard to find a job in that profession. And do I even want to go into music anymore? What about psychology? Or therapy? I don’t know. Thank God I have time left to figure it out.

Plastic Surgery

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ppEQmjFO6A

 

Two words: Plastic surgery. What do you think of it? Implants, augmentation, reduction, liposuction … it’s interesting. People should do whatever makes them feel beautiful, but I do feel that there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. In this particular post, I’ll be focusing on face lifts.

                A face lift is done by making an incision in front of the ear, and cutting underneath the first layer of skin so that it’s able to be lifted up. The skin is then pulled back towards the ears, tightening the skin on the cheekbones and jaw. This is usually for people who want to look younger, and their face is starting to sag.

                In the video, notice all the markings the doctor is making on the woman’s face. This is so they can know exactly where to cut so that no mistakes are made. Part of her head is shaved for easier cutting.

                The doctor takes his instruments and repeatedly slides it underneath the skin. This is to make sure all the tendons and tissue still connected to her cheek is separated from the layer of skin he’s working with.                     

                He then scrapes/cuts the fat off of the inner layer of her cheek. This is a simpler form of liposuction. After he does that, he pulls the skin tightly back to her ears and sutures her up.

 

                A facelift is simply making someone look younger. It’s not like they’re changing what their face looks like- they’re going back in time to what they used to look like.  However, I still don’t agree with plastic surgery. It’s natural for the human body to age, and a beautiful process like that shouldn’t be played with. But some people age quicker than others, and I can understand how it would be frustrating for a forty year old to look sixty.

                Now as for breast implants… this surgery is not only stupid (in my opinion), it’s risky. There’s risk of infection, a reaction to the implants, and the implants not working out well. A breast reduction I understand, because too big of breasts can be painful and difficult with everyday life. But IMPLANTS…  Everyone woman is born beautiful. The size of a woman’s breasts shouldn’t determine how beautiful she is. Anyway, the point is, plastic surgery is a strange thing. Yet very common.

Shadowing at Mercy

 

A while ago, I filled out a form to get me into a job shadow program, done through my high school. I got “accepted” into it, and I have a job shadow tomorrow at Mercy Hospital. I stated that I wanted to see what a live Emergency Room is going to look like. I can almost guarantee that this desire is not going to be fulfilled, because why would a hospital let some teenager see all the gory stuff that takes place in an ER? Um, because I want to be doing that in less than ten years. I WILL be doing that in less than ten years. The medical shows I watch (some realistic, some unrealistic) such as Grey’s Anatomy and Untold Stories of the ER, are now failing to satisfy my craving for medical action. I don’t want to continue looking up surgery videos. I want to see, for my own eyes, in real life, someone being cut open and sutured back together. I’m sorry if that sounds creepy, but it’s the truth. I want to experience it, and I don’t want to wait until I’m the one doing it myself. I want to observe.

 

                Even thought I get to have a more professional job shadow experience, I still have the opportunity to tour a hospital and get one on one advice from a doctor. A friend of my dad’s works at a hospital downtown and has agreed to talk to me about my future and let me get an inside look at the hospital. I would actually rather do that because my dad would be with me and it would be more personal, and I’d feel more comfortable asking questions and such since the doctor/my “tour guide” is a friend of my dad’s.

 

                I’m curious to know if the doctor will actually let me see some sort of procedure. Nothing like a real sit-in surgery in an OR, but something small, like a minor suture procedure. That would be so cool. I’m not easily grossed out by those things, but then again, I’ve only seen videos. It’d be cool to see if I’m bothered by the real thing, and actually helpful. I can’t be nauseated by those things if I want to be an ER nurse.

 

                Anyway, if I do get into the job shadow program, I’m still going to do the job shadow with my dad’s doctor-friend. I would have two different, yet similar experiences and I would benefit hugely from that. 

Disappointment

I have to admit I was disappointed when I didn’t make All-State. I was overjoyed for my fellow chamber choir members that made it in, and I know they deserved it. At first, I didn’t like to even hear them talk about All-State or anything to do with it. About how much fun they were having; what funny things were happening at rehearsal. But when it comes down to it, I’m just as excited as they are. It’ll be weird for me to listen to it, because I’ll be on the other side of it. By that I mean I’ll be the audience instead of being on singing for the audience. And that’s okay. I rarely get to see other people perform anymore because I’m always one of them. It’ll be especially nice because every person from Kennedy that made it is one of my friends, and they’re all so talented, it’ll be an honor watching them perform.

Love Struggle

It’s so frustrating to have the person you like not like you back. I’m used to it, but it still sucks. Like I know some people were meant to be friends, but what if I don’t want to be friends? I love you. A lot. For now, as a friend. But  I feel like I could love you as more than that. Usually, I would jump right in. But I’m hesitant this time. I’ve seen my life fall apart before my eyes, and I’ve lost many friends because I dated someone I was so close with, and we hung out in the same friend group. When we inevitably broke up, because after all, this is high school. But it was awful. And was the relationship we had really worth having if it meant throwing away most of the things that made me happy? Hell no.

            But it’s hard. When you find everything about someone so amazing, even when it’s probably not. You look past their flaws, and you love them for all they’re worth. Their happiness becomes your happiness. And that’s love. But the wrong kind. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I just have to be

love happy

“When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that’s love.”  I absolutely love that quote. By love, that doesn’t have to be a boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other. It can be a friend, too. At first, I didn’t relate with it at all. I can be quite selfish at times and only concerned about my own happiness. But over time, I’ve found someone whose happiness is my happiness. When they’re happy, I’m genuinely joyous. And that’s love. I don’t love them like a lover or significant other. I love them as a best friend. I found someone whose happiness is close to coming before mine, and I want them to be as happy as possible. That’s one of the most special things in the world.

That gorgeous feeling

In choir, I’m an alto. More specifically, alto two; also known as the lowest female voice part. I love being an alto, and I’ve almost always been one. In sixth grade, I was a soprano. I know it seems like one year wouldn’t make a difference, but most people don’t switch parts. They stay what they were told to be right at the beginning. Boys are different, of course, because their voices change. Interestingly enough, girls’ voices change as well. Some more than others, but everyone’s changes a little bit. My voice especially changed quite drastically. After getting a large part in my eighth musical, I came to the realization that I couldn’t belt the high notes that I used to be able to. I asked my teacher about it, and that’s the first time I found out that girl’s voices can change. I personally think it changed for the better, because although I lost some of my belting notes, my lower notes became stronger. I do sing by myself in my free time, so this is where my not being able to belt certain notes becomes a dilemma. I can’t sing certain songs as well I wish I could due to this problem. This doesn’t necessarily mean I have a minimal range, it just means I have to use my head voice for more notes than soprano does.

            My voice lesson teacher told me that he thinks I could easily be a metso, which is a voice part in between alto and soprano. I was quite shocked at this; for the past five years I’ve always been on the lowest voice part. I took it as a compliment, because I assume that meant the he thought my range was wide enough that I could move up a half voice part. I want to stick with being an alto, though. Some of the notes are so low and thick, it’s exhilarating to sing them. There have been some occasions where the notes are so low that they overlap with the tenor notes, which is the voice part below the alto, and the highest male voice part. If a female is capable of hitting those notes, that’s pretty cool. It’s such a unique sound to hear notes that are in a male range, sung by a female.

            It’s been said that the alto part is the easiest to sing. I beg to differ. They hardly ever get the melody, and some notes are too high for our range, but are still commonly seen in music because after all, we are still female singers. It’s such a fun part to sing; not too high, not to low. Although we don’t have the melody a lot of the time, we do have some pretty cool harmony in there. And when the melody is ours, we nail it.

Makes You Think

I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes with you, and explain what each of them means to me and why they’re important to me.

 

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” –Wayne Dyer

This quote hits me pretty deeply. I’ve struggled with being comfortable with being alone. And when it says “the person you’re alone with”, I mean myself. Me, myself, and I.  I’m finally okay with being alone.

 

“See it big, and keep it simple.” –Wilferd A. Peterson

Have goals in life, but don’t over complicate things. Life will be so much simpler if you see it like it is and don’t overthink it.

 

“I knew we’d cross the line, so I quietly erased it while you weren’t looking.” –Rachel Wolchin

 

Take a chance. Take a chance on a new hobby, on person, on life. Live for your happiness.

Open Heart

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk7vBCW7v0w

This is a video of heart transplant. This procedure isn’t too uncommon, but it’s a very risky one.   

            First the doctor has to cut in to get to the heart. He cuts through the skin, tissue, and fat, and finally gets to the chest cavity. The beating heart is openly visibly in the chest cavity.

            When it’s time to remove the heart, the doctor has to be careful not to cut anything he shouldn’t. When he cuts the tissue that connects the heart ventricles to the body, he has to make sure they stay in tact so that the new heart ventricles can be connected.

            The new heart is placed in the chest cavity. The doctor has to carefully reconnect all the ventricles of the new heart to where they connected to the body on the old heart. He has to make sure he doesn’t suture the arteries shut in the process.

Smile More

Make the world a better place. The people of this world need to be happier. They need to know that they’re worth it and that they’re loved. I encourage you to compliment somebody. Tell them you like their outfit, or their hair, or their smile. Tell them they’re talented, or smart, or funny, or nice. It can make a world of difference to some people. I just don’t think people understand how many people are sad. I’m not saying that’ll  necessarily be fixed by a single compliment, but it sure as hell could help. A lot people hide their feelings, and know one ever truly knows what they’re feeling. I’m not telling you to try and get them to pour their heart out to you, but let them know you care.

            It’s been said that the funniest people are the saddest. I believe this is true in some cases. Some people are funny without realizing it, some people are funny for attention, some people are funny to mask their pain, some people are funny to make others happy, and some people are funny so others won’t feel the pain they’ve felt. Laughter is said to be the best medicine, ergo, hurt people want to make others smile and laugh so they can live a pain free life.

The Struggles of a Worrier

We’re told all our lives not to worry. “Everything in life will eventually fall into place.”, they say, “There’s nothing to be concerned about.” I disagree with that. People have several reasons to worry. Life is scary. The world is scary. What if everything doesn’t work out? No, life doesn’t end if things don’t go as planned. But it does throw us off course. A lot of people have this picture of what their life is going to be like someday, and that makes them happy. But there’s such a big chance of it not turning out that way, people shouldn’t get hung up on that image. I’m one to talk, though. That’s what I think about most of the time; my future; where I’m going to be in ten years. Five years, even. I don’t really focus on the “here and now” as much as I should. I just find the future so exciting. But I do plan things out way too much. I think of the specifics, and if it doesn’t happen that way, I’ll probably be really disappointed and that’s not a good thing. We have to just let things happen. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. We were meant to be in the place we are for a reason, and the things to come and exactly what’s supposed to happen.

Mall of America

I am insanely pumped for our show choir trip to Bloomington, Minnesota this weekend. It’s my first time travelling out of state for show choir, and it’s to a pretty big competition. To be completely honest, I forgot we were even going to a show choir competition. I’m just focused on the fact that we get to go to The Mall of America and stay in hotel together. Bonding stuff like that is so important.

God

I’m straying COMPLETELY off topic for this blog. Well, actually not that far off topic, because this blog is about God, and God is involved in everything. I love God more than anything in this world, and that’s the way it should be.

            I’ve been struggling with some things in life right now, so I’m going to share some scriptures from the bible, and then talk about how they relate to life and help us get through things.

           

“’For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” –Jeremiah 29:11     

            If you’re like me and plan out your future, then this one’s for you. I plan my future out SO much its unhealthy. We need to learn to put our trust and hope in God, and believe that he knows exactly what he’s doing. This is all part of his plan for us, and this is where we’re supposed to be at this exact moment. Everything makes sense with God.

 

“The wicked will have to suffer, but those who trust in the Lord are protected by his constant love.” Psalm 32:10

            I’ve recently had a lot of people be rude to me, and make choices to hurt me and bring me down. I’m not saying I want them to suffer, but I wanted them to understand that when I don’t reply back to them with a rude comment, I’m not doing it to let them walk all over me. I’m doing it because I know that’s what Jesus would do. And I’m doing it because I know that I’m protected by the Lord.

 

“Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.” –Proverbs 20:30

            In my case, it took several situations to make me change my ways. But someone with whom I used to be very close with said some things to me, and that made me finally re-evaluate. I don’t deserve that kind of treatment, and it took an extremely upsetting and painful comment to finally make me see that.

 

            The Lord works in mysterious ways. He doesn’t give us more than we can handle. God knows I can handle all the bullshit people throw at me, and it’ll only make me stronger in the end.

Heart Transplant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk7vBCW7v0w

This is a heart transplant. No wonder they need a new heart; Look at how fatty this heart is. The yellow around the organ is the fat, and this heart is just covered in it. This procedure isn’t too uncommon, but it’s a very risky one. 

            First the doctor has to cut in to get to the heart. He cuts through the skin, tissue, and lots of fat, and finally gets to the chest cavity. The beating heart is openly visible.

            When it’s time to remove the heart, the doctor has to be careful not to cut anything he shouldn’t (obviously). When he cuts the tissue that connects the heart ventricles to the body, he has to make sure they stay in tact so that the new heart ventricles can be connected.

            The new heart is placed in the chest cavity. The doctor has to carefully reconnect all the ventricles of the new heart to where they connected to the body on the old heart. He has to make sure he doesn’t suture the arteries shut in the process.

            Fun fact for you: In the video, you’ll notice that when the doctor is opening the old heart, you’ll notice that there are little strings inside the heart. When something tragic happens to you, they say you’re heart can break. That is true. After an upsetting event, those heart strings can literally break. People can die from a broken heart.

Love

I love him. God, I really do love him. And I know him better than anyone else. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t feel the same way. Am I not hot enough for him? I know he has emotional issues, but come on. If I know him almost as well as he knows himself, then why won’t he allow me to nurture his emotional issues? I would do anything for him. Hell, I HAVE done a bunch for him. So much sacrifice. But hey, anything to see that smile. Doesn’t matter that he doesn’t treat me the best. He’s the light of my life and I love him. I know the situation isn’t okay. But for the time being, it is what it is.

Cheating.

I’m going to stray away from my usual topic for this blog. I need to voice my opinion about a topic we recently discussed in my AP Lang class- cheating. Cheating, in my opinion, is wrong; all forms of it. Do your own damn work for Christ’s sake. Don’t copy homework, or a test, or any other assignment or something that’s being counted for a grade. That’s unfair to the kids that actually did the work, and your lazy ass shouldn’t get the same grade, if not a better grade, just because you happened to copy from a smart person.

                Now cheating doesn’t have to be from or with another person. It could simply be you by yourself. For example, say you somehow got a hold of the correct answers for a test you were going to take the next day. That’s just as wrong. Study for the test. If you don’t know what the hell is going on, go in for help. And if worse comes to worse, you get a bad grade. And that’s okay. And don’t tell me that it’s not. You’re not going to get rejected from a college because you struggled in some subjects. Try your best, and if you don’t do well on something, it’s okay. Do you know why it’s okay? BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T CHEAT.

                Then we changed topics. People started saying how you can cheat your way through middle school, high school, and college, and still get a great job as long as “you” had the grades for it. Um… no. Let’s say you cheat in math and science, all the God damn way through school, and then you apply for a job at Rockwell Collins. You might actually get the job, because your resume would show the good grades you actually didn’t earn because you cheated, but they don’t know that, and you could sweet talk them if you’re a people person. So maybe your cheating ass gets hired. When it comes time to do your work and your boss has to see it and the work has to be not only your own, but also accurate, you’re screwed. Because you don’t actually know HOW to do any of the work because you cheated all the way through math and science, which are key to work at Rockwell. It’s the same way for almost any other job.

                Bottom line, don’t cheat. If you’re terrified for that test because you don’t know anything and you chose not to get help from your teacher, then you accept that bad grade like it’s your freaking child. Deal with it.