Changes

Although I’ve gone back to music instead of pre-med, I do hope helping people and healthcare stays in my life. Other than watching medical shows, I plan on doing some type of medical stuff in college. The only problem with that is that this may not even be a possibility.

            I do think it’s strange that people who have such a passion for something, and can find a job that pays you do your passion, still don’t go down that path. I love music more than most things in life, and I always have. It’ll be weird not to be involved with it everyday.

            The way I see it, music isn’t a job to me. It’s a pleasure. I would love to go to work at a hospital, and come home and relax while listening to music. But I think music is the better choice for me.

Lost

I’ve been thinking about changing my major. From about sixth grade all the way through ninth grade, I wanted to be an Emergency Room nurse. Possibly a doctor, but who knew. I was planning on going to the University of Iowa for pre-med, and eventually working in a hospital in Cedar Rapids. But in the beginning of tenth grade, and I’ll never forget this, my dad said to me: “Lauren, I want you to get up every day excited to go to work. Don’t look for a job, look for your passion; and if your passion pays, then you’ve got it made.” And that was all I needed to hear. I was going to teach music. Music is my life, and if I could pass that on to other people and get paid to do it? Hell yes I was going to do that. I was pumped. “Okay Lauren, new plan.” I was now planning to go to Iowa State University, and double major in Music and Education. I was set. Until recently. A friend of mine asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and suddenly I didn’t know. Whatever it takes, music will never cease to be a part of my life. But did I want to be a music teacher? It’s so hard to find a job in that profession. And do I even want to go into music anymore? What about psychology? Or therapy? I don’t know. Thank God I have time left to figure it out.

Plastic Surgery

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ppEQmjFO6A

 

Two words: Plastic surgery. What do you think of it? Implants, augmentation, reduction, liposuction … it’s interesting. People should do whatever makes them feel beautiful, but I do feel that there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. In this particular post, I’ll be focusing on face lifts.

                A face lift is done by making an incision in front of the ear, and cutting underneath the first layer of skin so that it’s able to be lifted up. The skin is then pulled back towards the ears, tightening the skin on the cheekbones and jaw. This is usually for people who want to look younger, and their face is starting to sag.

                In the video, notice all the markings the doctor is making on the woman’s face. This is so they can know exactly where to cut so that no mistakes are made. Part of her head is shaved for easier cutting.

                The doctor takes his instruments and repeatedly slides it underneath the skin. This is to make sure all the tendons and tissue still connected to her cheek is separated from the layer of skin he’s working with.                     

                He then scrapes/cuts the fat off of the inner layer of her cheek. This is a simpler form of liposuction. After he does that, he pulls the skin tightly back to her ears and sutures her up.

 

                A facelift is simply making someone look younger. It’s not like they’re changing what their face looks like- they’re going back in time to what they used to look like.  However, I still don’t agree with plastic surgery. It’s natural for the human body to age, and a beautiful process like that shouldn’t be played with. But some people age quicker than others, and I can understand how it would be frustrating for a forty year old to look sixty.

                Now as for breast implants… this surgery is not only stupid (in my opinion), it’s risky. There’s risk of infection, a reaction to the implants, and the implants not working out well. A breast reduction I understand, because too big of breasts can be painful and difficult with everyday life. But IMPLANTS…  Everyone woman is born beautiful. The size of a woman’s breasts shouldn’t determine how beautiful she is. Anyway, the point is, plastic surgery is a strange thing. Yet very common.

Shadowing at Mercy

 

A while ago, I filled out a form to get me into a job shadow program, done through my high school. I got “accepted” into it, and I have a job shadow tomorrow at Mercy Hospital. I stated that I wanted to see what a live Emergency Room is going to look like. I can almost guarantee that this desire is not going to be fulfilled, because why would a hospital let some teenager see all the gory stuff that takes place in an ER? Um, because I want to be doing that in less than ten years. I WILL be doing that in less than ten years. The medical shows I watch (some realistic, some unrealistic) such as Grey’s Anatomy and Untold Stories of the ER, are now failing to satisfy my craving for medical action. I don’t want to continue looking up surgery videos. I want to see, for my own eyes, in real life, someone being cut open and sutured back together. I’m sorry if that sounds creepy, but it’s the truth. I want to experience it, and I don’t want to wait until I’m the one doing it myself. I want to observe.

 

                Even thought I get to have a more professional job shadow experience, I still have the opportunity to tour a hospital and get one on one advice from a doctor. A friend of my dad’s works at a hospital downtown and has agreed to talk to me about my future and let me get an inside look at the hospital. I would actually rather do that because my dad would be with me and it would be more personal, and I’d feel more comfortable asking questions and such since the doctor/my “tour guide” is a friend of my dad’s.

 

                I’m curious to know if the doctor will actually let me see some sort of procedure. Nothing like a real sit-in surgery in an OR, but something small, like a minor suture procedure. That would be so cool. I’m not easily grossed out by those things, but then again, I’ve only seen videos. It’d be cool to see if I’m bothered by the real thing, and actually helpful. I can’t be nauseated by those things if I want to be an ER nurse.

 

                Anyway, if I do get into the job shadow program, I’m still going to do the job shadow with my dad’s doctor-friend. I would have two different, yet similar experiences and I would benefit hugely from that. 

Disappointment

I have to admit I was disappointed when I didn’t make All-State. I was overjoyed for my fellow chamber choir members that made it in, and I know they deserved it. At first, I didn’t like to even hear them talk about All-State or anything to do with it. About how much fun they were having; what funny things were happening at rehearsal. But when it comes down to it, I’m just as excited as they are. It’ll be weird for me to listen to it, because I’ll be on the other side of it. By that I mean I’ll be the audience instead of being on singing for the audience. And that’s okay. I rarely get to see other people perform anymore because I’m always one of them. It’ll be especially nice because every person from Kennedy that made it is one of my friends, and they’re all so talented, it’ll be an honor watching them perform.

Love Struggle

It’s so frustrating to have the person you like not like you back. I’m used to it, but it still sucks. Like I know some people were meant to be friends, but what if I don’t want to be friends? I love you. A lot. For now, as a friend. But  I feel like I could love you as more than that. Usually, I would jump right in. But I’m hesitant this time. I’ve seen my life fall apart before my eyes, and I’ve lost many friends because I dated someone I was so close with, and we hung out in the same friend group. When we inevitably broke up, because after all, this is high school. But it was awful. And was the relationship we had really worth having if it meant throwing away most of the things that made me happy? Hell no.

            But it’s hard. When you find everything about someone so amazing, even when it’s probably not. You look past their flaws, and you love them for all they’re worth. Their happiness becomes your happiness. And that’s love. But the wrong kind. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I just have to be

love happy

“When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that’s love.”  I absolutely love that quote. By love, that doesn’t have to be a boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other. It can be a friend, too. At first, I didn’t relate with it at all. I can be quite selfish at times and only concerned about my own happiness. But over time, I’ve found someone whose happiness is my happiness. When they’re happy, I’m genuinely joyous. And that’s love. I don’t love them like a lover or significant other. I love them as a best friend. I found someone whose happiness is close to coming before mine, and I want them to be as happy as possible. That’s one of the most special things in the world.